An alive chicken

June 4, 2010

It’s June. Yowza! Where has this year gone?

I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off…but unlike the chicken, I haven’t felt this alive in a long, long time. I am inexplicably grateful. I feel like I am living Psalm 40:1-3a in technicolor:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.

I could literally weep with joy and gratitude people. Weep.

And oh how I pray the next verse (Psalm 40:3b) is and will be true of me:

Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

So what’s going on? Here are some highlights that pop into my head:

  1. My youngest is 2 1/2. That’s huge. I don’t know what it is about 2 1/2, but I always feel like I turn a corner about then. I guess the ability to (sort of) verbally communicate with each other is part of it. Having littles is HARD. There has never been anything so difficult for me than being a mom to young children. I know some people are made for it, but I do much better with the older ones. I feel like there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
  2. We have been a part of a small group for a while now and I am loving it! Also huge for me. Why? Because when we were in ministry, our small group experiences so often felt forced and not-so-fun. And as the pastor’s wife, I also felt obligated. I admit, when Brian threw out the idea of joining a small group recently, I balked. (“Been there, done that. Hated it. No way.”) But we took the plunge and I don’t know what else to say other than this is how a small group should be.
  3. My depression has all but vanished (PRAISE GOD!!). I think I got to the point where I had such a hard time dealing with daily life that I purposed to simply put my head down, plow ahead and take one tiny step at a time; I didn’t have the strength to focus on much more than that. Recently though, it feels like I have been able to lift my head; it’s been shocking (“Wow! Look at all the cool stuff around me! You mean there’s more to life than just making it through another day?”).
  4. I am now a bona fide working woman (not that being a mom isn’t work!!). I have managed to turn my new venture, BloggingWithAmy.com into an income-producing blog and I’m working as a blog consultant/virtual assistant as well. (I have one client currently, Money Saving Mom, but hope to expand later this year.) The income is helpful — especially given our newly defined life plan (more on that later) — but I admit, the best part about it is having found something that “fits” and something I genuinely enjoy.

God has thrown so many amazing things at me so far this year, I feel like I have been drinking from a fire hose.

But I’ll take it.

Better that than no head. ;)

Comments: 8 Comments
Category: My Life, My Randomness

Juggling

April 26, 2010

The bottom line is, I have too many irons in the fire. (No, this is not an announcement that I’m canning WithPurpose.com. I don’t plan to do that.) But here’s my crazy pattern:

  1. Things fall through the cracks (ex. I forget to sign a permission slip for one of the kids, someone runs out of clean underwear, we have spaghetti for dinner again because I haven’t been shopping in forever, etc.)
  2. I’ve got guilt, not just for a permission slip, some underwear or dinner, but because I’m just overall a major mother failure.
  3. I vow to change, so I list all my responsibilities and make yet another weekly schedule because if I just had the perfect schedule, I could do it all.
  4. Upon listing my responsibilities, I realize everything requires me to give something — a withdrawal on my soul.
  5. Upon tweaking my schedule, I realize I can just fit in all my responsibilities. But there’s no cushion. No room for deposits.
  6. I keep to my new schedule for about 2 days, after which I’m frustrated that someone or something always needs me and there are no deposits.
  7. So I decide I need a deposit — an “outlet” just for me — and I squeeze it in.
  8. Of course there’s no time, so I get frustrated and take out my frustration on everyone around me.
  9. I react to my frustration by pouring myself into that “deposit” thinking that will relieve my frustration.
  10. All the other things in my schedule take a hit.
  11. Something falls through the cracks.
  12. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result? Um, yeah.

I’ve often thought about Christ and how He frequently passed people right by without helping them. And yet it was always right.

Somehow He understood what He could and couldn’t do, chose to do only the things the Father wanted Him to do and let the rest of it go. How did He feel about those He left “standing in line” waiting for Him? How did He feel when they said, “Pshaw. I thought you were the Messiah! How come you’re ignoring me and my needs?”

It’s not a matter of separating the good stuff from the bad stuff and only doing the good, but choosing the good stuff from the good stuff and only choosing the better. That’s what makes it hard.

Comments: 17 Comments
Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Issues, My Life

Where am I?

April 12, 2010

Hey there! I’ve gotten several inquiries about where I’ve been and whether or not I’m still blogging here at WithPurpose.com.

Yes, I’m still blogging here. (Really. I am.) After my total revamp a few months ago, I got some feedback that made it clear that my revamp was a little too…much? So, I revamped the revamp and have been working on separating things a bit. Sorry for being all over the place.

So, I’ve been busy at BloggingWithAmy.com, a site where I’m answering two of the most common questions I get when someone finds out I’m a blogger. Those are:

  1. Do bloggers really make money from their blogs?
  2. How do bloggers make money from their blogs?

I’ve been blogging for a long time (6 years) and I’ve got a lot of blogging information filed way in that brain of mine. I decided it was time to get it out. So basically I’m walking through the process of starting a blog from scratch — how I do it and how money can be made in the process.

If you’ve ever wondered how this blogging thing works, you might check it out!

In the meantime, I’ve also started working at home “officially” (read: actually making money – woohoo!) so that’s occupying my time as well.

So much to talk about…

Comments: 4 Comments
Category: Blogging & the Internet, My Life

He lives

April 4, 2010

“We cannot amputate our history from our destiny.” ~Beth Moore

Never has that been more true than in the life of Christ. There would have been no resurrection without the cross.

And so it is with us. Out of our greatest pain will come our greatest ministry.

Our Redeemer lives.

Praise Him.

Comments: 2 Comments
Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Life

Unquestioning faith

February 23, 2010

So I was thinking about Mary this weekend. I mean the mother-of-Jesus Mary.

I like her.

She’s obviously a person who values goodness and righteousness to some extent (otherwise, why would God pick her, right?). So can you imagine what it must have been like to find out you’re pregnant as a virgin? How do you explain that one to your parents? Not to mention your fiancé.

And yet, as far as we can tell, she was totally accepting of the idea. Maybe the wild angel visit was enough to convince her that it really was going to happen. I mean, I’ve never been visited by an angel, but I can see how that would be totally convincing.

But do you think after the bright lights were turned off and all heavenly beings had disappeared, that she doubted at all? That between the time she got word and the time she gave birth, that she never second-guessed the whole thing? Just a little?

I think know I would have.

Because I’m far too concerned about disappointing my human counterparts.

Oh to have her kind of faith. And concern only for impressing (and not disappointing) the One who really matters.

Comments: 9 Comments
Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Life
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