First, let me say, I am so grateful I got to go to Blissdom. I would absolutely recommend it to any blogger and I would do it again in a heartbeat. The whole experience was invaluable.
Funny, I went thinking I’d get one thing, but I took home something entirely different. It wasn’t bad, it was good…just a little unexpected. Here’s how it went down for me:
I arrived in Nashville on Thursday night. As I navigated my tired self and accompanying baggage to my room, I passed lots of women dressed up and on their way to the first official party of the weekend.
Queue my issues…
- Oh shoot, why didn’t I think this through more thoroughly? Why did I wear these jeans? I should’ve worn my newer ones.
- Man, why didn’t I remember I’d be making a first impression tonight instead of in the morning.
- These socks looked so fun this morning, now I feel like a clown.
And I must confess, I fought my issues the whole weekend…
- Who’s that? I wonder how many readers she has.
- I wonder how much money she makes.
- She’s so confident. Act confident, Aim!
- I wish I had her nose.
- I love her outfit. Why didn’t I think to bring some accessories!
- Oh, oh, oh, there’s [celebrity blogger]! Will she notice me? How can I meet her? Gee, wouldn’t it be awesome if she mentioned me on her blog?
- I’m met with blank stares whenever I tell someone the name of my blog…no one has a clue who I am.
- What?!? Did she just say that 1000 pageviews a day is a major disappointment? Man, I’m ecstatic if I get 400 pageviews a day.
And I spent too much time at Compete comparing my blog to others’ and too much time trying to do the math to see how much *more* they make than I do. And believe me, it was always more. Way more. LOL!
Oh man, what can I say. I’m just sayin’ it like it is.
Someone (does anyone remember who??) Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses made the comment at one point that we need to stop comparing our insides to other’ outsides. How true is that?!
Anyway, I was ready for all the action Friday morning. The Opening Keynote was given by Kevin Carroll. He told the story of being abandoned by his parents by the time he was 7 and how he and his two brothers were taken in by their grandparents. He’s written a series of books about a Red Rubber Ball — an object of significance for him in an epiphany moment he had as a child.
I deeply appreciate his story. It’s encouraging to hear from someone who has overcome countless odds, “pulled himself up by his bootstraps,” and has committed his life to helping others find their own success.
So I wondered why, at the end of his address, as everyone else was giving him a standing ovation, I remained seated, feeling awkward yet unable to stand.
It was strange. I had come expecting to learn a ton, to figure out how to get this thing to actually pay and glean valuable morsels of blogging wisdom from those who had “made it.” This was supposed to pump me up, to inspire me. Instead, I felt defeated and deflated. I was overwhelmed by the feeling that I just didn’t think I was cut out for blogging.
Have you ever had a meal that left you saying, “You know, that was good….but…it seemed to be missing something.” That was me after the first session. Then it dawned on me.
The thing missing was acknowledgement of God’s grace and intervention. I’m not sure what Kevin Carroll’s personal beliefs are. He’s worked unbelievably hard and he’s made great choices even when everyone would understand if he didn’t. But the bottom line is, all the internal fortitude he could muster wouldn’t get him anywhere on its own. It is important, absolutely, but he is where he is because God’s hand carried him there. Whether he recognizes that or not is immaterial, it’s simply the truth.
And it’s the truth for me too. I’ve gotten so caught up in how to make my blog better, how to be known, how to get readers, how to make money, that I’ve lost sight of the real reason I blog. I blog for none of those things. I blog simply because it seems to be the tool God has put in my hands at this moment for this season and because apparently it is what will best help me fulfill my tiny part of The Great Commission: making Him known and for His glory.
So while I have utmost respect for him and thoroughly enjoyed Kevin Carroll, for me, it’s not a red rubber ball that made the difference.
Christ did.
And that’s why I blog.
To be continued…
Shared at Walk with Him Wednesday and Musings of a Housewife.