An alive chicken

June 4, 2010

It’s June. Yowza! Where has this year gone?

I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off…but unlike the chicken, I haven’t felt this alive in a long, long time. I am inexplicably grateful. I feel like I am living Psalm 40:1-3a in technicolor:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.

I could literally weep with joy and gratitude people. Weep.

And oh how I pray the next verse (Psalm 40:3b) is and will be true of me:

Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

So what’s going on? Here are some highlights that pop into my head:

1. My youngest is 2 1/2. That’s huge. I don’t know what it is about 2 1/2, but I always feel like I turn a corner about then. I guess the ability to (sort of) verbally communicate with each other is part of it. Having littles is HARD. There has never been anything so difficult for me than being a mom to young children. I know some people are made for it, but I do much better with the older ones. I feel like there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
2. We have been a part of a small group for a while now and I am loving it! Also huge for me. Why? Because when we were in ministry, our small group experiences so often felt forced and not-so-fun. And as the pastor’s wife, I also felt obligated. I admit, when Brian threw out the idea of joining a small group recently, I balked. (“Been there, done that. Hated it. No way.”) But we took the plunge and I don’t know what else to say other than this is how a small group should be.
3. My depression has all but vanished (PRAISE GOD!!). I think I got to the point where I had such a hard time dealing with daily life that I purposed to simply put my head down, plow ahead and take one tiny step at a time; I didn’t have the strength to focus on much more than that. Recently though, it feels like I have been able to lift my head; it’s been shocking (“Wow! Look at all the cool stuff around me! You mean there’s more to life than just making it through another day?”).
4. I am now a bona fide working woman (not that being a mom isn’t work!!). I have managed to turn my new venture, BloggingWithAmy.com into an income-producing blog and I’m working as a blog consultant/virtual assistant as well. (I have one client currently, Money Saving Mom, but hope to expand later this year.) The income is helpful — especially given our newly defined life plan (more on that later) — but I admit, the best part about it is having found something that “fits” and something I genuinely enjoy.

God has thrown so many amazing things at me so far this year, I feel like I have been drinking from a fire hose.

But I’ll take it.

Better that than no head.

Related posts:

1. Alive & Well (& Exhausted)
2. That’s My Girl!
3. Eating birds
4. What Not to Say to a Newly Pregnant Woman
5. Oh my stars I’m a piece of work

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