Juggling

April 26, 2010

The bottom line is, I have too many irons in the fire. (No, this is not an announcement that I’m canning WithPurpose.com. I don’t plan to do that.) But here’s my crazy pattern:

  1. Things fall through the cracks (ex. I forget to sign a permission slip for one of the kids, someone runs out of clean underwear, we have spaghetti for dinner again because I haven’t been shopping in forever, etc.)
  2. I’ve got guilt, not just for a permission slip, some underwear or dinner, but because I’m just overall a major mother failure.
  3. I vow to change, so I list all my responsibilities and make yet another weekly schedule because if I just had the perfect schedule, I could do it all.
  4. Upon listing my responsibilities, I realize everything requires me to give something — a withdrawal on my soul.
  5. Upon tweaking my schedule, I realize I can just fit in all my responsibilities. But there’s no cushion. No room for deposits.
  6. I keep to my new schedule for about 2 days, after which I’m frustrated that someone or something always needs me and there are no deposits.
  7. So I decide I need a deposit — an “outlet” just for me — and I squeeze it in.
  8. Of course there’s no time, so I get frustrated and take out my frustration on everyone around me.
  9. I react to my frustration by pouring myself into that “deposit” thinking that will relieve my frustration.
  10. All the other things in my schedule take a hit.
  11. Something falls through the cracks.
  12. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result? Um, yeah.

I’ve often thought about Christ and how He frequently passed people right by without helping them. And yet it was always right.

Somehow He understood what He could and couldn’t do, chose to do only the things the Father wanted Him to do and let the rest of it go. How did He feel about those He left “standing in line” waiting for Him? How did He feel when they said, “Pshaw. I thought you were the Messiah! How come you’re ignoring me and my needs?”

It’s not a matter of separating the good stuff from the bad stuff and only doing the good, but choosing the good stuff from the good stuff and only choosing the better. That’s what makes it hard.

Related posts:

  1. Great things for God
  2. Action steps for 2010
  3. So Proud

Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Issues, My Life

Comments

17 Responses to “Juggling”

  1. Just What I Needed « Never Static
    April 26th, 2010 @ 10:54 am

    [...] Amen, sister!  You can read the entire post on her website here! [...]

  2. mrspastor
    April 26th, 2010 @ 12:30 pm

    Reminds me of a line from a Sara Groves song I think about often: “There will never be an end to • The requests upon your time • It’s your place to stand up and tell the world • You’ve got to rest awhile”

    mp
    .-= mrspastor´s last blog ..Wilted Lily =-.

  3. Sarah
    April 26th, 2010 @ 2:23 pm

    Mrspastor,

    LOVE that Sara Groves song.

    Amy…yes I get what you are saying. I went through that last year. I had SO many good things that I was doing that I had to pray and get rid of some of the good things. It left some people in the lurch and they didn’t always understand. But my soul rests easier and my children and husband are now happier…and so am I!
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Drops of heavenly wine =-.

  4. Kathryn
    April 26th, 2010 @ 4:40 pm

    It’s so easy to fall into that trap of trying to be everything to everyone in the family. It’s a “human” thing. Amy, I know you do your best to be a wonderful wife and mother. I think Sarah says it right: just pray and let some things go by the wayside. Our Lord was able to do that because He stayed in constant daily contact with His Father, which I’m sure you do too. Perhaps your kids could get more involved in keeping things running smoothly too. It may be that you’re trying too hard to do everything.

  5. Dana Wilson
    April 26th, 2010 @ 8:52 pm

    Hi Amy,
    Most of us mommies can certainly relate to your post. :-) I feel as though I am always juggling as a wife, homeschooling mom, and WAHM. It helps when I remember that things are not good when I do them in my own strength, rather than relying upon the Holy Spirit. That helps me to relax a little and not be quite as quick to think that it’s up to me that everything is done and everyone’s needs are met. If I am only a branch, it is up to the vine to empower me, right? That is one of those life lessons I seem to have to learn over and over again! Thanks for your thoughtful post.

  6. Mandy
    April 27th, 2010 @ 6:43 am

    Um… yeah… I’m right there with ya!! Even wrote about it recently myself! Solution?? Who knows?! Let me know if you figure it out! Lol ;)
    .-= Mandy´s last blog ..Blogiversary Giveaway Winners! =-.

  7. Jana Bishop
    April 27th, 2010 @ 10:50 am

    I recently let go of some responsibilities that were weighing me down… but then I thought of a million things to do to fill up my time. :) Insanity…yep that pretty much sums things up.

    I never really thought about the people that were left standing in line as Jesus passed by them. That’s very wise insight. Thank you for the reminder that God understands the limits of our humanity…even when people do not.

  8. Kelleigh @ Kelleigh Ratzlaff Designs
    April 27th, 2010 @ 8:58 pm

    Oh, I can SO relate!! I have to admit, though, that it has been my own selfish desires (more time on the computer to blog, read blogs, design, scrapbook, connect with others, etc.) that eats at me. This post is a reminder that 1.) I’m not alone, trying to accomplish it all, and 2.) I need to at least ATTEMPT to find some balance rather than just letting life continue on the way it has.

    THANK YOU for your vulnerability and for sharing! I just LOVE it when you post!!
    .-= Kelleigh @ Kelleigh Ratzlaff Designs´s last blog ..The Scorpion. Our new “pet”. =-.

  9. Kelli @ 3 Boys and a Dog
    April 28th, 2010 @ 8:44 am

    Amy, I bought what I think is turning out to be the best investment EVER! I bought the Gold Package at Simple. Organized. Sanity. It seems to be working! Good luck. :-) http://www.simpleorganizedsanity.com/
    .-= Kelli @ 3 Boys and a Dog´s last blog ..5 Strategies to Manage Your Email =-.

  10. Julie
    May 9th, 2010 @ 6:46 pm

    Great post and I can so relate:) Also, thanks for stopping by and letting me know about cutting and pasting recipes. I thought as long as in the post I linked back to the recipe on her blog that that was OK. So much to learn in the blogging world and I would never want to try and take credit for something that was not my own!
    .-= Julie´s last blog ..Favorite Games =-.

  11. Amy
    May 10th, 2010 @ 7:49 am

    Hi Julie, oh no problem. I’m right there with ya — there’s so much to learn, it’s hard to keep up with all the netiquette! I figured it wasn’t intentional at all. :)

    Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Lisa B @ simply His
    May 11th, 2010 @ 2:02 pm

    I’m right there with ya. Didn’t help that the pastor’s sermon Sunday was on Proverbs 31. Oh how I’d like to smack her upside the head. How did she do it all? My guess is not all at once. But too many things have been slipping through the cracks. My dust elephants (no longer dust bunnies) are proof of that. Time to get off the computer and start cleaning…a deep spring cleaning…ugh.
    .-= Lisa B @ simply His´s last blog ..Wild weekend =-.

  13. Amy
    May 12th, 2010 @ 7:14 pm

    Dust elephants — love it. :)

  14. Misty
    May 14th, 2010 @ 6:16 pm

    I feel like I you just described my life! I have been through that exactly cycle over and over again. I have once again been pondering how to break it. I recently read this quote, and it has helped. “A good woman know that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seem to require the accomplishment of a million thins, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently. The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life.” ~Julie B. Beck, President of the Women’s Relief Society, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints~

  15. Sharon @ UnfinishedMom
    May 15th, 2010 @ 9:49 pm

    I cannot begin to tell you how much I needed to read this today. My husband and I just had a discussion about expectations – mine of me, not his of me. He reminded me that I expect too much of myself. There really are not enough hours in the day to do all of what I (the world?) thinks I should do. I so need to step back from some things and do what is best instead of just what’s good.

  16. Emily
    May 21st, 2010 @ 5:50 pm

    But what if there really isn’t anything to drop, and you still feel overwhelmed? We’re down to the bare minimum here – in fact we’re going to have to start adding a few things as my oldest is about to start homeschool kindergarten – and I never seem to have enough time for “deposits” (I love that idea, btw.) Maybe this is just the way it is with three little kids?

  17. Amy
    June 11th, 2010 @ 11:59 am

    Emily, I think to a certain extent, it is life with littles. I do think there are some practical steps we can take to manage our time in such a way as to prioritize and make things run as efficiently as possible. I have something in the pipeline that address this very thing so stay tuned! ;)