Figure out where you’re headed by looking back

July 20, 2009

I spent some time with a new friend today and was reminded of the breath of fresh air that friendship is. I know this is not profound to many (the majority) of you, but for someone who is a homebody (I think my sister might use the word hermit), an introvert on a constant quest to get some much-needed alone time and someone who has serious issues with knowing how to be a normal friend (because I’m weird and I’ve moved every 3 years of my life and, well, I have issues as you know), developing friendships doesn’t come naturally to me. I literally lie in bed awake at night stressing over how to be a good friend. I am telling you the honest truth. I like people and enjoy good friends, but getting from “Hi, my name is Amy,” to “Hi, do you want to get some coffee sometime?” escapes me. Why? Well if I knew that, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. I’m weird. Weird, weird, weird.

I have been told in the past (ironically by someone that I considered a good friend of 4 years) that she felt like I kept her at an arm’s length and never really let her get very close. I’ve thought a lot about her statement. It makes me feel sad.

AAAAAAnyway. My friend issues was not the intention of this post. What was I saying?

Oh yes. So, I invited someone from church over to our house because she intrigued me and I had a feeling we’d click. (I just want to stop right here because you have no idea what that last sentence represents. Invited her over? To my house? Amazing. Check me out, gettin’ all wild and crazy.)

Anyway, so as I suspected, we did click. I’m one of those people (I’m pretty sure there are others like this too) that has a handful of very close friends (usually about 3 or 4) and then a bunch of say-hello-on-Sunday acquaintance-type friends. And I’m a total gut follower. That is, I follow my gut (not their gut because if I followed their gut that would be REALLY weird. Even I know THAT much.) So, I can kind of tell after talking to someone very briefly whether or not we’ll click.

OK, total rabbit trail. I’m just going to get right down to the point of this post which is this:

My new friend reminded me today that when we are trying to figure out the purpose God has for us, oftentimes a big, fat clue is to look back at our greatest disappointments. It’s the tough times in life — assuming we embrace them and don’t run from them — that produce the greatest refining, the deepest learning and the most significant growth.

A follower of Christ cannot wholly emerge from a hard circumstance without His fingerprints all over the place. And it’s His fingerprints that point others to Him. Which is the whole point.

So the question I’m asking myself tonight is, where are His fingerprints in my life because of the circumstance through which He held me?

Or to ask it another way, what have been the most difficult or disappointing experiences I’ve faced? The seeds of purpose most likely live there.

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  3. My TIME experience
  4. Who said breastfeeding was easy?
  5. How we talk to our kids about gay marriage & other tough questions, Part 2

Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Issues, My Life

Comments

6 Responses to “Figure out where you’re headed by looking back”

  1. Carrie
    July 21st, 2009 @ 9:40 am

    I swear we’re twins. I don’t make/keep friends easily, either. Of course, being 5,000 miles away from fellow Americans may be part of that. LOL!

    I think it’s easier to see God’s fingerprints on the lives of others than that of our own. Still, it’s good to know that they’re there!

  2. Diane
    July 21st, 2009 @ 12:04 pm

    Thanks for the post, Amy. I admire your honesty and transparency. I’m dealing with this question today, too, figuring out God’s purpose in my life and where He is leading. And about the comment on friendships, I think our friendships are like that — you have the golden few that are such treasures and are so valuable in your life. I think it keeps us seeking God and our friendship with Him important, too. If we had too many friends, we might not include Him in as much of our lives. Thanks for the ‘food for thought’. God bless,

  3. Betsy
    July 22nd, 2009 @ 11:10 am

    So glad I’m not the only one… I’m grateful for your new friend and the thoughts she inspired in you. It’s so good to be reminded of these things- the things we all hear day in and day out, but in all reality start to tune out (until someone like you spits it out in front of us in the middle of sharing her own issues [that we can all relate to!]). Thanks Amy!

  4. Betsy
    July 22nd, 2009 @ 11:11 am

    So glad I’m not the only one… I’m grateful for your new friend and the thoughts she inspired in you. It’s so good to be reminded of these things- the things we all hear day in and day out, but in all reality start to tune out (until someone like you spits it out in front of us in the middle of sharing her own issues [that we can all relate to!]). Thanks Amy!

  5. RMA
    August 8th, 2009 @ 3:31 pm

    Amy…do you think you have a hard time drawing close to someone because when you were in the ministry you gave your love away to others and they hurt you in return?

    You are the one God blesses with unconditional love…take a chance again :) And love regardless…

  6. The Girl Behind the Geek
    January 28th, 2010 @ 2:01 pm

    [...] and so now I (a) am petrified at the thought of living in one spot more than 3 years and (b) am a little weird when it comes to keeping friends longer than the same. I am totally working on this [...]