Insecure

August 25, 2008

I’m realizing something. It’s nothing new really, but I’m realizing it in a whole new way, or at least admitting it to myself in a whole new way. I am deeply insecure. I do most things to gain the approval of others. I talk a lot about wanting to please God, but if I’m honest, even my desire to please God is not really to please God for God’s sake as much as it is to please God so I can look good to those around me. I want to look good to others so they will tell me how amazing I am. Their accolades and praise then make me feel good about myself. For a moment. And then I’m on to find the next person who’ll make me feel good again. In other words, it’s all about me. And right now I feel like a big, fat fake.

I’m turning comments off.

Category: My Issues

Comments

One Response to “Insecure”

  1. Salt & light : withpurpose
    December 18th, 2008 @ 4:03 pm

    [...] mentioned recently that my must-need-work “Issue of the Moment” is my insecurity and accompanying [...]