Comments on: My rock bottom

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 17:13:20 +0000

Thank you so much for posting this!! It explains better than I ever could how I’m feeling. We’ve been in married for 1.5 years and at our first church that whole time. I’ve been miserable for much of this time. I have no friends at our church (or in our city) and am unemployed. Many days I wonder why bother to even wake up. I love my husband very much and I know he is called by God to serve. I’m just terrified that this is the way the rest of my life is going to be – that feeling that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I’m afraid that we are missing out on what is supposed to be one of the most fun times in your life, the young married with no kids stage. I’m glad to know that other people experience this and come through it. Thanks again so much for this post…

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By: owlhaven

owlhaven — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:13:58 +0000

wow, I’m so glad you’re doing better…can relate to the feelings of slogging some days, esp when God’s answers are not the ones we’re praying for….

Mary
owlhaven´s last blog ..Homemade Hamburger Buns

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:40:05 +0000

Wow, thanks all for sharing your stories. I’m so sorry so many can relate…and yet at the same time, grateful for the understanding. Many blessings to each of you.

By: Daisy

Daisy — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:02:07 +0000

Dear Amy,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Mine is a combination of Amy and Selah’s stories. I went through 2 major depressions and a devastating miscarriage. The weight of my husband and the church’s expectations, my husband’s controlling nature and always choosing them and his friends over me, my shouldering the greater financial burden in the home, it all drove me to near insanity. I had gotten to the point where i didnt even want his children. I was under pressure from him and the church to stop working outside the church and i quit my job. later on discovered i had a baby on the way. i tried to get rid of him but the Lord had other plans. I took my time at home to deal with my crap – see why i really got married and face facts about myself and my marriage and this helped me accept my child and love him dearly before he was born. I named him Joel to always remind me that the LORD is God no matter what my situation or circumstances are. I know every parent thinks their children are wonderful but Joel is truly a God-send. He is a very expressive child and his hugs and ‘I wav you Mummy’s fill an unbelievably big void for love that i had. God used that time apart to help me deal with my crap and now, even though things with the hubby are still the same, my attitude is different because my children give me new meaning and a reason for living. My husband will never leave ministry and there are paths he is interested in taking that i know i am not called for and have told him as much, but till then i take each day as it comes, love my children into the godly adults i pray they will be and work on work and being a better christian. the story continues….

By: selah

selah — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:09:01 +0000

Hi, Amy.
I am reaching and in the stage of fed up being a pastors wife(or what other names the church circle gives it).And googling for other who surely have similar problems , even if they may be few of them out there? And read your rock bottom.Well i can only say, good on you that you dare write and expose it out.You are certainly not a hipocrite as most christians.
I know that what you went through was real as Jesus was a real human being.
And for your husband to take that wake up call and attend to first hand matters,(that i called the will of God) good on him too as he is a real person.Most so called man of god would do all they can in their powers(ego) to tuck it somewhere.
My husband was a great man(real) when i met him and was true to his self. But as the years went by, he became what they say a pastor.
and truly that is what he is, he is not a husband, friend, my other half.
So here is where i am in our husband and wife relationship, if christians called this one.
I am thinking alot and afraid that things must blow up.Why must i always think of him and always worry that it will mess up for him?
What about me? It is messing me most of the time and i dont want to lie to myself most of all?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:01:01 +0000

Thanks, Amy. So glad you’re back to blogging. It’s absolutely amazing to read the words that I have felt so often. When you’re in that situation, you feel so alone and confused and misunderstood – no one can possibly help. It’s been a long time since I’ve been at the bottom, but our Rock is waiting every time. It’s much more fun up here, though!
Michelle´s last blog ..So…Now What?

By: RMA

RMA — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:17:54 +0000

Amy…you are not alone…people are just dumb sheep…God is faithful…no matter what comes your way have no fear for He is on the side of the righteous.

By: Sarah (Real Life)

Sarah (Real Life) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:07:08 +0000

I am in tears, remembering when my first daughter was born, and I had debilitating depression and anxiety. I remember thinking that I finally understood how someone could commit suicide – to do anything to stop feeling that black hole in my heart.

Like you, I am so thankful for my husband who helped lift me out of it (along with my doctor and some good medication!) and God who has used it to help others.

I know He is going to use you to lift many out of their pit of despair!