It’s been 14 months since I last posted. I think it’s high time for an update.
- got pregnant with Baby #4
- got sick during pregnancy with Baby #4
- spent 2 months curled up in a ball on the floor thinking it was due to Baby #4 but later realized it was due to depression
- had intense marital problems the entire summer of ‘07
- finally had a breakthrough when we realized I was depressed
- husband chose to resign 2 days later knowing his job as senior pastor was a huge factor in my depression
- sold our house 1 week later
- sold about 1/3 of our belongings and packed the rest in a POD
- loaded ourselves and our (then) 3 children in our two cars and drove across the country to my parents’ house because we had nowhere else to go
- gave birth to Baby #4
- all 6 of us lived with my parents for 6 months (my parents deserve a reward)
- husband found a job through a divine course of events
- bought & moved into a house 10 miles from my parents
- struggled with continue to struggle with guilt for not being able to hack it as a pastor’s wife, for causing my husband to give up his vision in exchange for a job he loathes and for the damage I caused to everyone while I was curled up on the floor and barely functioning (see #3)
- giving thanks for a husband who is self-sacrificing, kids who are resilient, parents who are supportive, friends who are encouraging and a God who restores hope, bestows grace, fills in the places where I lack and never let’s go despite how dark it seems to me. Praise Him.
