This post will most likely be unpopular with many, if not most of you. It might even serve as a catalyst to some not-so-nice email. I’m OK with that. And though it may appear I am a glutton for torture, I am merely writing in response to a comment left by Karen on my last post. Here’s what Karen said:
Hi Amy,
I have visited your church and have seen some of what your husband believes about women’s roles (or lack of). I find it interesting that for all of your candor on this blog, you do not respond to the few comments on women’s rolls [here and here]. I think if you want this blog to truly reflect who you are, you could tell us what you believe. Are you afraid of loosing readers, or are you trying to project something you are not by omission, or am I totally wrong?
First, a few things…
- Because blogging does not provide the reader the advantage of hearing voice intonation or reading nonverbals, it’s hard to know in what “spirit” things are said. I’m operating from the assumption that your comment is a genuine interest in what I think on the subject and not a criticism of me or my husband. I hope you will read my response in the same way (except for the little bits of sarcasm that are sure to pop up here and there).
- Also, you’re right that I didn’t respond to Kathryn’s comments. I assure you my silence is not due to a fear of losing readers (my sporadic and lame posts have already accomplished that) nor am I trying to project something I’m not (I’ve been as real as I know how so far).
- The reason for my silence is twofold. First, Kathryn and I have gone back and forth on this issue already, both in email and in the comments of other posts on this blog (like this one and this one). As you can see, we don’t get very far. Second, my dad was just here for a little over a week helping us complete some much-needed home repairs and I was busy doing things like freaking out as I watched him climb the world’s shakiest ladder to switch out our bee-infested, paint-peeling shutters and finding time between naps, feedings and screaming children to paint lots of doors…garage doors, the side door, the back doors and the front door. In other words, I’ve been focused on other things.
OK, on with it.
Well, Karen, you said that you’ve visited our church and “have seen some of what your husband believes about women’s roles (or lack of).” Not sure what this means or what you’re referring to. There have been a whole host of rumors about what he supposedly believes about women, most of which are completely untrue, such as, “he doesn’t believe women should serve communion” (which, ironically, was included in a letter he received just today from someone who is leaving our church partly for this reason. How unfortunate that (1) they listened to and believed false information and (2) they either forgot about, overlooked or didn’t notice the women that have served communion on countless occasions in the past). Anyway, where was I. Oh yeah, rumors. My personal favorite was “he doesn’t want [so-and-so] to mow the church lawn because she’s a woman.” Now, I’ve gotta stop right here and tell you how much of a bum rap I’ve got as the pastor’s wife. For obvious reasons, as the pastor’s wife, I’m generally not “in the loop” (read: privy to the gossip). By the time I heard that my husband doesn’t think a woman should mow the lawn, that little morsel of juicy gossip had already made its way to the ears (and mouths) of a handful of otherwise intelligent people. I found it so hilarious I would have liked to pass it on myself. And to think, all that time and energy I wasted mowing our lawn. Bummer.
OK, so I digress.
Anyway, the following are my (abbreviated) views on women in the church:
Basically, of the dozens (if not hundreds) of roles to be filled in the church, I believe there are exactly two (read: two, dos, t-w-o, 2) roles in the church that should be occupied by men only. Those are the role of senior pastor and the role of elder. My view is based mostly on 1 Timothy 2:11-15.
Now, before I get bombarded with all the typical and inevitable arguments as to why I’m wrong in my interpretation of Scripture or why I’m a disgrace to all women everywhere, let me say that I probably won’t engage any (well-meaning, I’m sure) attempts to get me to change my mind. After much thought, conversation, exploration, study, etc., this is where I’ve landed on the subject. I haven’t come to this conclusion lightly and I don’t anticipate being convinced otherwise. (Although I’m always open to dialogue, differing opinions, hearing what others think and more questions.)
I find it very interesting how much heated debate transpires over this subject. I can understand, of course, that women don’t like being told they can’t do something. After all, I’m a woman. But why is it so threatening? I suspect it’s because women very often view the idea through the lens of abuse, heartache and betrayal. Indeed, the women I’ve known who have been vehemently opposed to my viewpoint, are all women who have been deeply wounded by fathers, husbands, brothers or other men who have wrongly hurt them.
I am certainly not in favor of women being abused in any way, by anyone. I do not believe women are in any way inferior or less valuable than men. Women have just as much to contribute in the church, business, politics and the world.
I’ve only scratched the surface, but it is now after 11pm and I have officially turned into a pumpkin. (I knew there was a reason I suddenly found myself staring blankly at the computer screen with absolutely no idea what to write next.) Besides, I’m sure I’ve provided enough raw material for some lively discussion.
And anyway, I’ve gotta go mow the lawn.
