Comments on: Soul searching http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/ Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:17:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: My http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1348 My Wed, 30 May 2007 21:10:27 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1348 This is a year late but the 'throw a few back' cracked me up. I'd like to do that with a few pastors also-Lord, bless them. Being holy doesn't always look HOLY and looking HOLY isn't always the real thing. This is a year late but the ‘throw a few back’ cracked me up. I’d like to do that with a few pastors also-Lord, bless them. Being holy doesn’t always look HOLY and looking HOLY isn’t always the real thing.

]]> By: Lucinda http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1347 Lucinda Sun, 23 Jul 2006 23:22:04 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1347 I thought your post was honest. I cannot understand why people not only expect a lot out of preacher's wives, but they expect them to be perfect. I'm sorry but I have feelings just like everybody else. I have been a PK growing up and over 30 years as a pastor's wife. The last year as been the most difficult of my life dealing with people. Not only do people have high expectations, but some are just mean when they verbalize it to you. Where is the love in Christianity today? Can't anyone ever say, I understand. Why do we have to condemm and give recipes on how to be better Christians. Are there any other humans out there? I thought your post was honest. I cannot understand why people not only expect a lot out of preacher’s wives, but they expect them to be perfect. I’m sorry but I have feelings just like everybody else. I have been a PK growing up and over 30 years as a pastor’s wife. The last year as been the most difficult of my life dealing with people. Not only do people have high expectations, but some are just mean when they verbalize it to you. Where is the love in Christianity today? Can’t anyone ever say, I understand. Why do we have to condemm and give recipes on how to be better Christians. Are there any other humans out there?

]]> By: Kathryn http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1346 Kathryn Tue, 18 Jul 2006 04:02:53 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1346 You mentioned that you would like to get an email from God every once in awhile. Good news: you have something even better, the presence and Holy Spirit of God Himself dwelling in you! You can let Him speak to you, as I'm sure you already know. We hear Him with the "inner ears" that Jesus spoke about ("He that hath ears to hear"). That's much better than an email. You mentioned that you would like to get an email from God every once in awhile. Good news: you have something even better, the presence and Holy Spirit of God Himself dwelling in you! You can let Him speak to you, as I’m sure you already know. We hear Him with the “inner ears” that Jesus spoke about (“He that hath ears to hear”). That’s much better than an email.

]]> By: Amy http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1345 Amy Thu, 06 Jul 2006 19:56:01 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1345 I just found your blog, and I find it very interesting because I am a pastor's kid myself. I know firsthand how stressful it can be, and how the social expectations can be burdensome. More so on the wife than the kids, even. I find it interesting that Carol-whoever seems to expect your blog to be spiritual, why? Because you're a pastor's wife? Therefore you must be all "the Lord was leading me" and "the Lord revealed to me during prayer" and "Praise God for the new pair of socks we bought Johnny"? Please. I think it's great that you're keeping a blog and being real, and showing your readers that pastor's wives are real people too, with all the same anxieties, insecurities, and hard times as the rest of us. If I were you, I'd tell Carol to stuff it! But then, maybe I'm just not spiritual enough. ;-) I just found your blog, and I find it very interesting because I am a pastor’s kid myself. I know firsthand how stressful it can be, and how the social expectations can be burdensome. More so on the wife than the kids, even.

I find it interesting that Carol-whoever seems to expect your blog to be spiritual, why? Because you’re a pastor’s wife? Therefore you must be all “the Lord was leading me” and “the Lord revealed to me during prayer” and “Praise God for the new pair of socks we bought Johnny”? Please.

I think it’s great that you’re keeping a blog and being real, and showing your readers that pastor’s wives are real people too, with all the same anxieties, insecurities, and hard times as the rest of us. If I were you, I’d tell Carol to stuff it! But then, maybe I’m just not spiritual enough. ;-)

]]> By: Joyce http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1344 Joyce Tue, 27 Jun 2006 21:10:23 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1344 Carolin P., thanks for coming back and reiterating what you meant. In my 40-some years of experience as a pw, not to mention my life as a pk, it isn't as much what we expect of ourselves as a pw, but often it's what we are forced to expect of ourselves, by how our congregation views who we are and lets us know who THEY think we ought to be. True; we shouldn't care what they think (?!?), but no one wants to distract from ministry by being less than we should be. It doesn't usually dawn on us in the beginning, that what THEY want us to be is not what GOD made us to be .... HE made us who we ARE. I won't bore you with my story of how it finally "dawned on me" that Mrs. C had no idea who I should be! Only God and my husband are important enough to me, to be what they want of me -- and in pleasing the two of them, I have my hands full. :o) Then it "dawned on me," that if I please Mrs. C, then Mrs. T might dislike me. And If it's Mrs. T that I please, it's just as likely that Mrs. M will not be pleased. My goal since that day has been to please GOD and then my husband. I'm saddened when that displeases Mrs. C, M or T, but it's no longer important to me to change for them. Only for God. And if I'm really pleasing God, my husband is also pleased with who and what I am. This was so freeing to me! Carolin P., thanks for coming back and reiterating what you meant.
In my 40-some years of experience as a pw, not to mention my life as a pk, it isn’t as much what we expect of ourselves as a pw, but often it’s what we are forced to expect of ourselves, by how our congregation views who we are and lets us know who THEY think we ought to be. True; we shouldn’t care what they think (?!?), but no one wants to distract from ministry by being less than we should be. It doesn’t usually dawn on us in the beginning, that what THEY want us to be is not what GOD made us to be …. HE made us who we ARE.
I won’t bore you with my story of how it finally “dawned on me” that Mrs. C had no idea who I should be! Only God and my husband are important enough to me, to be what they want of me — and in pleasing the two of them, I have my hands full. :o )
Then it “dawned on me,” that if I please Mrs. C, then Mrs. T might dislike me. And If it’s Mrs. T that I please, it’s just as likely that Mrs. M will not be pleased.
My goal since that day has been to please GOD and then my husband. I’m saddened when that displeases Mrs. C, M or T, but it’s no longer important to me to change for them. Only for God. And if I’m really pleasing God, my husband is also pleased with who and what I am.
This was so freeing to me!

]]> By: Jaime http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1343 Jaime Mon, 26 Jun 2006 07:40:14 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1343 Amy, I just ran across your blog for the first time tonight and have spent several hours poring over your blog site. I wasn't going to comment this soon, but I felt I it appropriate at this point to let you know that in general, I appreciate your candor and your wit. I [heart] your attitude problem, if, in fact, it truly is a problem. I dunno. Is it? Well then. I [heart] your attitude. I appreciate your human-ness and lack of attempt to sugar coat the truth of our very earthly existance. [Dealing with my own issues...] Amy,

I just ran across your blog for the first time tonight and have spent several hours poring over your blog site. I wasn’t going to comment this soon, but I felt I it appropriate at this point to let you know that in general, I appreciate your candor and your wit.

I [heart] your attitude problem, if, in fact, it truly is a problem. I dunno. Is it? Well then. I [heart] your attitude.

I appreciate your human-ness and lack of attempt to sugar coat the truth of our very earthly existance.

[Dealing with my own issues...]

]]> By: Carolin P. http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1342 Carolin P. Sat, 24 Jun 2006 20:57:49 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1342 Why is it that, as Christians, we have to create a "ministry" for every single situation and role we find ourselves in? The Bible speaks of the shephard, never about the shephards wife and what her role may be. The Bible instructs us as Christian women, wives and mothers -period, because that's a job and-a-half by itself. Yes, being the pastors wife comes with expectations from others...but maybe the bulk of those expectations come from things of the world and the traditions of man (i.e., the title "First Lady" implies a lot). For goodness sake, let's all take a more simpler, organic approach to being the wife of a pastor. I get the feeling that, in her attempt to be "not the typical Pastors wife" that Amy, and so many other wives of pastors, have actually in some way built up this PW thing to be bigger than it is, and from reading through this blog, I sense that, in general, she feels inadequate and insecure about her job and her performance...which might breed the hint of bitterness and anxiety I detect. I don't see her comment about throwing the bad ones back as being a clever or cute thing for any follower of Christ to say, whether you're a pastors wife or not. I have been "bad" many times. I am in no way expecting a goody goody blog from any true follower of Christ -that's silly, but I still believe that that specific comment (and many others) reeks of this overly judgemental* and pessimistic attitude that Amy seems to have somewhat embraced and accepted...and everyone else seems to be rooting her on in it. *(I would hope that I could at least feel a bit more assured that a sister-in-Christ would not be secretly comparing what I'm wearing to what she's wearing...but maybe that's too much to ask of Christianity in America). I have no problem leaving an email address either..it is c.purchard@yahoo.com. Why is it that, as Christians, we have to create a “ministry” for every single situation and role we find ourselves in? The Bible speaks of the shephard, never about the shephards wife and what her role may be. The Bible instructs us as Christian women, wives and mothers -period, because that’s a job and-a-half by itself. Yes, being the pastors wife comes with expectations from others…but maybe the bulk of those expectations come from things of the world and the traditions of man (i.e., the title “First Lady” implies a lot).

For goodness sake, let’s all take a more simpler, organic approach to being the wife of a pastor. I get the feeling that, in her attempt to be “not the typical Pastors wife” that Amy, and so many other wives of pastors, have actually in some way built up this PW thing to be bigger than it is, and from reading through this blog, I sense that, in general, she feels inadequate and insecure about her job and her performance…which might breed the hint of bitterness and anxiety I detect. I don’t see her comment about throwing the bad ones back as being a clever or cute thing for any follower of Christ to say, whether you’re a pastors wife or not. I have been “bad” many times. I am in no way expecting a goody goody blog from any true follower of Christ -that’s silly, but I still believe that that specific comment (and many others) reeks of this overly judgemental* and pessimistic attitude that Amy seems to have somewhat embraced and accepted…and everyone else seems to be rooting her on in it.

*(I would hope that I could at least feel a bit more assured that a sister-in-Christ would not be secretly comparing what I’m wearing to what she’s wearing…but maybe that’s too much to ask of Christianity in America).

I have no problem leaving an email address either..it is c.purchard@yahoo.com.

]]> By: Traci http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1341 Traci Sat, 24 Jun 2006 05:14:17 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1341 Amy, Don't beat yourself over the head. I appreciate your honesty and find it uplifting that when I was a pastors' wife, I wasn't the only one feeling some of the things I felt. I think that Carolin may encounter some things along the road in ministry that may change her attitude a bit and help her to understand where you're coming from. I was like her once. I've found that most every pastors' wife and her spouse have to go through being crushed and shaped and molded again...to be refined. It's part of the painful process of becoming like Jesus and turning into 'gold.' Thank you for your honesty. Amy,
Don’t beat yourself over the head. I appreciate your honesty and find it uplifting that when I was a pastors’ wife, I wasn’t the only one feeling some of the things I felt. I think that Carolin may encounter some things along the road in ministry that may change her attitude a bit and help her to understand where you’re coming from. I was like her once. I’ve found that most every pastors’ wife and her spouse have to go through being crushed and shaped and molded again…to be refined. It’s part of the painful process of becoming like Jesus and turning into ‘gold.’ Thank you for your honesty.

]]> By: Schoolmarm32 http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1340 Schoolmarm32 Fri, 23 Jun 2006 22:35:44 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1340 I've been reading your blog for awhile (never commented yet), but I have to say that if you were always "spewing misery" I wouldn't still be reading it. I think you are wise to as God if you are being bitter and see if an unwanted source/comment might have something to teach you--but the Lord will let you know if you cross the line. You are being honest and examining your motives in God's light. He will honor that. I find your blog insightful and refreshing. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile (never commented yet), but I have to say that if you were always “spewing misery” I wouldn’t still be reading it.

I think you are wise to as God if you are being bitter and see if an unwanted source/comment might have something to teach you–but the Lord will let you know if you cross the line. You are being honest and examining your motives in God’s light. He will honor that.

I find your blog insightful and refreshing.

]]> By: Alida http://www.withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/comment-page-1/#comment-1339 Alida Fri, 23 Jun 2006 16:51:10 +0000 http://withpurpose.com/2006/06/21/soul-searching/#comment-1339 Amy, I was so grateful to finally find a blog where I could see a pastor's wife being real. Keep on being you because you truly are a blessing to many! Alida Amy, I was so grateful to finally find a blog where I could see a pastor’s wife being real.

Keep on being you because you truly are a blessing to many!
Alida

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