How can it be?

June 13, 2006

When it comes to parenting, I don’t catch on very fast. When I encounter a never-before-faced problem (or “challenge” as some would call it, although I don’t) in child-rearing, which happens, oh, about every 6 hours, I’m generally stumped. On a good day, I can come up with a solution quickly, however, very often, it takes me days, sometimes weeks. (You can imagine, then, the backlog of problems waiting for a good solution. No wonder I walk around clueless half the time.)

Anyway, the newest “problem” is hovering. My daughter hovers. Wherever I am, there she is also. If I go upstairs, she’s soon to follow. If I go downstairs, she’s right at my heels. If I’m sitting on one side of the room and get up to go to the other side of the room, she does the same.

Now, let me stop right here and address those of you who are undoubtedly thinking, “Well, isn’t that nice that her daughter wants to be near her?” and “She’d better enjoy it while it lasts because it won’t be long before her daughter doesn’t want anything to do with her.”

OK. That’s all fine and nice. I am glad she wants to be with me. I can even admit that 5 or 10 years from now I may be longing for these “good ole days” when I was the center of her universe. But that’s then. This is now people. And right now, the hovering MAKES ME CRAZY! I. Just. Need. Spaaaaaace.

There is one exception to her hovering rule. After school, when she gets off the bus, she bounds into the house and the first words out of her mouth are “Can I call [fill in the blank with the name of any one of a number of her friends] to play?” or “Can [again, fill in the blank] come over?”

But rest assured, if she can’t find anyone to play with, the hovering begins anew.

So, I had a particularly hovering-heavy day one day last week and when my husband got home, I proceeded to verbally vomit all over him as I told him how my day had been.

And then it hit me. It was an aha! moment. One that left me speechless and wondering how on earth it could possibly be true. It was one of those realizations that caused me to look at my husband and ask, “How can this be? Are we absolutely sure this is our offspring? Is it even possible (or legal) that someone so different from us could actually be born from us?”

Because it was in that moment, I had the most shocking revelation: I have this eerie feeling that my daughter, the one whom I have always assumed was just. like. her. mother. is really, in fact, her own person AND as impossible as it sounds, I think she is, is, is, dare I say it, I think she is…….an extrovert.

Believe me, I am ecstatic that I finally figured it out.

But now I have no idea what to do with an extrovert.

Related posts:

  1. That’s Funny, I Was Wondering the Very Same Thing
  2. That’s My Girl!
  3. There must be more
  4. It’s the Little Things
  5. The Things They Come Up With

Category: My Life

Comments

7 Responses to “How can it be?”

  1. crickl's nest
    June 14th, 2006 @ 2:02 pm

    Oh, man, I know exactly what you mean. My youngest is that way….and is apparently a lot like me. She doesn’t just hover though, she wants to discuss EVERYTHING, all the time. yakyakyakyakyak!!! So

    I give her assignments. I ask her to go shake the tableclothe or time to play with the dog and exercise her. Reading time (I love reading time!!) We signed up for a summer reading club and when she reads 7 books, she gets a $5 coupon for their Christian bookstore. So for an hour a day she reads….she is 8. She also has a few toys that she has to ask permission to play with …cuz they are messy. So sometimes I’ll get her bead box down and she can make things, or invite a friend for an afternoon……if you have any other ideas, please do share!! lol

    Christie

  2. Becky
    June 14th, 2006 @ 3:31 pm

    OK – I am new to this whole blogging thing – my first 2 attempts to post on another pastor’s wife blog went woefully wrong so I am not sure how this will work out!
    I have a 15 year old that is also a “hoverer (sp?)”. She is a great kid and boy does she love to talk. Generally she does not get on my nerves too much except when I am cooking. She follows me in the kitchen and every time I turn around I bump into her! What fun! What makes the situation more fun is that her father – my wonderful husband of 18 years is also a “hoverer”. Most women wish their husbands would talk more. My husband talks – pretty much nonstop – mostly about things I have little or no interest in! My favorite moments are when my daugher and husband are both in the kitchen hovering and talking at the same time. A happy day will be when they start bumping in to each other and maybe I can cook in peace!

  3. joannmski
    June 14th, 2006 @ 6:04 pm

    Oh, boy. We have friends with this dilemma. They are both introverts and their daughter is an extrovert, and she is an only child. They are very kind, and force themselves to get together with other families and do things so the daughter will get her fix of people.

  4. Alida
    June 15th, 2006 @ 8:09 pm

    I also have a hover-er! He started fairly young and at 16 he is still at it. There are days where I have actually yelled at thim to “get off me!” He laughs and starts in again later… oh, he is definitely an extrovert. The last few evenings he has started going outside to talk to the neighbors. At least his Russian is getting better with this new habit!

  5. Betsy
    June 27th, 2006 @ 10:02 pm

    Hi Amy! I had to laugh at this since I’m acquainted with both you and your daughter. I’m an introvert married to an extrovert and that has really taught me a lot :) . As far as what to do with your extroverted daughter, Focus on the Family actually has an online “Parenting Insights Assessment” that you can take that can perhaps help to answer this question. I did it a few years ago when my kids were probably still a little too young, but I remember thinking it was worthwhile. Here is the link: http://www.focusonyourchild.com/parentassess/

  6. Amy
    July 1st, 2006 @ 9:04 pm

    It’s always nice to know I’m not alone! I had no idea this was such a common problem occurrence. :) Thanks for the link, Betsy. I’ll have to check it out.

  7. Kathryn
    July 26th, 2006 @ 4:45 pm

    If your daughter is an extrovert, maybe she’ll be a preacher or even a pastor some day. Who knows what God may have in store for her? Maybe leadership is in her genes. Don’t discourage that.