Pastors’ Wives Forum

3 Responses to “Pastors’ Wives Forum”

1. Lisa R.
   June 17th, 2006 @ 12:21 pm

   My husband is almost done with school to become a pastor, making me a first time preachers’ wife. Is there anyone out there who has any advice for a first timer? some of the blogs out there are so negative they are very discouraging and sad, i pray that it won’t be like that, however i am not so naive to think it is going to be a walk in the park either. i am also aware that since the devil knows that i am dwelling on this he is going to be attacking me in this area. i got married at 19 and now have two children being 23 with kids has put me in a fishbowl so i think i can hadle that part of the pw life however i am a strong southern women and sometimes speak before really thinking it through this scares me, needless to say i don’t think i will be pushover pw.
   but really if anyone has any advice or good books to read on the subject it would be great!
   -Lisa in Texas

2. Joyce
   June 26th, 2006 @ 2:46 pm

   Lisa, this is what I wrote to JoAnn, who wants her husband to quit the ministry. Hind sight is always clear, but my hind sight can prevent your own from duplicating mine someday! Here it is….
   If you don’t have a safe best friend with whom to share your feelings as a pastor’s wife, either find one, or go to a good Christian counselor (this is what I am doing after some 40 years as a pastor’s wife! Should have done it sooner). Usually they will give you a good discount, and in the long run, it will prevent your having expensive health issues due to carrying and suppressing the stress.
   …Lisa, a “safe” best friend is probably someone outside your church with whom you can pour out your heart, or ask questions when you’re stuck, or when you wonder whether you’ve blundered, and if so, how to fix it….

   Being a pastor’s wife is a privilege, and a burden! Sometimes “Jesus in skin” is what we need — someone safe to talk to and to really open up to. The Word is full of help, but loneliness can make it seem as though it’s for someone else, but “not for me.” Unburdening yourself to someone who is capable of letting you know that the silly/dumb/stupid things that happen to us are not our fault, can bring the sunshine into your life again!

   An older pastor’s wife who is compassionate and not preachy, is a good alternative. Maybe you can find one who will not only take time for you, but become your friend. Many years ago I did have one, and she probably kept me sane! But we moved!!!

   I’m praying for you. It’s not an easy position, and we don’t ask for all of the “junk” that comes with it, but if your husband is really called to the ministry, that’s something you will learn to encourage with joy in your heart, once you find your way through what is currently bothering you. I wish we could communicate one-on-one and become the friend we each need. )

3. shoutnhappy
   August 21st, 2006 @ 6:11 am

   Lisa,
   As a pastor’s wife for 13 years, My advice to you would be live as close to the Lord as you can. I wouldn’t try to find someone “safe” because there really is no one. Learn to tell Jesus your trouble and rely on the Holy Spirit to give you strength and insight.
   Look at others and you will get distressed
   Look at yourself and you will get depressed
   Look at Jesus and you will always get blessed

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