A Pastor’s Wife Kills

March 27, 2006

What a tragedy of astronomical proportions. I’ve wrestled with the news all week and I’ve tried to wrap my brain around it—I just don’t think that’s possible. As I struggle to make sense of it, one phrase keeps crossing my mind: But by the grace of God go I.

In other words, as horrible and impossible as murdering my husband seems, my biggest and most dangerous mistake would be to believe I am not capable of doing it myself. Pride comes before the fall, Scripture says, and it’s so easy to sit back, watch the news and assure myself that I am so far beyond that, so above it, so glad I never have to worry about living in such an unspeakably horrible nightmare. I would NEVER do that. Hmmm. I bet Peter never would have believed he’d deny knowing Christ. I bet David never would have thought he’d have an adulterous affair. And I bet he never would have thought he’d also be guilty of murder.

Mary Winkler didn’t wake up the other day thinking, “You know, today I’m going to kill my husband.” We look at the final act of murder and think, “How can it be?” when in reality, pulling the trigger was only the last step of many that led her to that point. It’s not my job to judge or assume nor is it my intention to answer all the hows and whys of the situation. What she did was horribly wrong. There is no justification. But thank God he offers redemption to her…just like He does to me.

One of the best things I can do is let it be an opportunity to examine my own life and ask some hard questions:

  1. Are there any seeds of thought that, if allowed to grow and mature, would lead to acts of grievous sin? What are those seeds and where might they lead?
  2. Is there at least one person in my life who loves me enough to address the matters of my heart and to point out those things that need changing? Someone who holds me accountable and does not let me get away with even the most seemingly insignificant act of sin?
  3. Am I willing and open to change and to be changed? Do I take the necessary steps to do so?

The fact is, I am not immune from the very situation Mary Winkler finds herself in today. The question is, what am I doing to avoid it?

Category: Deep Thoughts

Comments

4 Responses to “A Pastor’s Wife Kills”

  1. ToshaLyn Francis
    March 27th, 2006 @ 11:15 pm

    Praise God for forgiveness. I John 1:9 And one of the best things I can do to keep from sin is to pray. Jesus told the disciples “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation . . .” Matt. 26:41 Through prayer, God can keep us from even temptation.

    You are sooooo right, Amy. But for God’s grace, there go I.

  2. Stacy
    March 28th, 2006 @ 12:38 am

    Very well written. We had a situation at our church this last summer, our SR Pastor had an affair with the church bookkeeper. My husband being the Jr High Pastor and us being in close fellowship with both of these people has been a lot to deal with. Yet your words have echoed those that I have said the past few months dealing with the fall out of the affair. I’m only steps away from making such mistakes.

  3. Lazy Mommy
    March 28th, 2006 @ 3:47 am

    I really appreciated your thoughts on this situation. It seems that a lot of people think that this sort of thing “just happens,” but like with an affair, there are a thousant little steps a person takes to end up at that place. It probably never seems like a big jump when you’ve already walked up to the edge of the cliff. All we need is constant vigilance. Yeah, right, “all we need.” anyway, thank you. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say in response to that story and you nailed it.

  4. TERI
    June 16th, 2006 @ 2:07 pm

    This whole story of Mary Winkler saddens me……I guess the first thing I wanted to do was drive up and talk to her…..pray for her…..let her know that God STILL loves her….even after such a violent act. As a pastors wife, we can relate to her feelings and frustrations, loneliness, and inadequacies too. Your right, Amy, the potential is there for anyone to ’snap’, and not be in their ‘right’ mind….and God forbid….to hurt someone….thats why we always need to pray, need others to pray for us as well. The church is full of references and referrals…..the ‘help’ out there is endless….where Mary found herself at the ‘end’ of her road….let it help us find our ‘beginning’…..GET HELP!!!

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