These two do not belong to me, but when I say “dog” this is what I have in mind. Now is that too much to ask? (No offense Sophie.)
I recently confessed to being in debt. You may remember. (If you don’t, or if you’ve only happened upon this blog recently, you can catch up here.) I started a second blog called The Great Debt Payoff to chronicle our journey to pay it off, as the name so obviously suggests. (Go ahead. Call me brilliant.)
Well, the other blog is cramping my style and now I’ve changed my mind about it—I think I’m gonna pull the plug. (This is not surprising since I change my mind like I change my underwear.)
Basically, I can hardly keep up with my first blog (i.e. the one you are reading now), so why in tar nation did I think I was going to be able to keep up with 2 blogs. Not to mention the fact that I will be giving birth to a third child in a little less than 2 months (if everything goes according to plan) and I’m beginning to suspect that a newborn (plus two kids, plus another that I take care of 20+ hours a week…all under the age of 6) does not mix very well with 1 blog, let alone 2. At least not in my case. Now, if I was blessed with the ability to write a post as quick as I’m able to down 8 Fudge Striped cookies, well, then, 2 blogs might not be such a problem. But, the fact is, I’m so much more of a cookie type, not a posting type, so 1 blog is probably about all I can handle. But I digress.
So as I said, since I’ve been particularly lame at posting to The Great Debt Payoff, I think I’m gonna kill it. I initially started that blog because it didn’t seem like the topic of paying off debt was particularly related to being a pastor’s wife. And now I’ve changed my mind about that too. Because why? BECAUSE I AM A PASTOR’S WIFE AND WE ARE IN DEBT. In other words, they go together because THIS IS MY LIFE. And this is my blog so I can write about whatever I want. That’s the beauty of it being my blog.
Besides, what started out as just a totally financial approach to working ourselves out of debt, has now become something much more huge.
In a nutshell, our lives have completely changed in the last month.
No, someone did not die and we did not inherit $284,945. No, we were not one of the 6 in Nebraska who recently won the lottery. No, our church did not suddenly decide to double my husband’s salary. No, we did not sell one of the children. And no, I did not kill my husband in order to get his life insurance policy. No. No. No.
Two things have changed: I’ve got a plan and another man.
The new plan, which basically translates into a budget, is the suggestion of the other man, Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey is affectionately referred to as DR around here and I am convinced every American should know him as well. He wrote a great book, The Total Money Makeover
I’m also TOTALLY ADDICTED to his radio show, The Dave Ramsey Show. It’s not broadcast in our area but I have listened to every single archive online.
(I know this is the hugest, most shameless plug ever and I promise the guy is not paying me to say it. The whole thing totally trips me out. It’s all about delayed gratification, rice and beans, beans and rice and saying no to debt. Simple concept but hard to achieve.)
DR is totally about getting out of debt. The guy does not own a credit card. People call into his show every day with all kinds of financial woes, some small, some gargantuan. There are also those who call in to scream “WE ARE DEBT FREE” (after having worked themselves out of it, one dollar at a time). Yes, they scream it and DR plays this clip from Braveheart where Mel Gibson yells, “FREEDOM!!!!!!!” at the top of his lungs and it may sound extraordinarily cheesy, but I tell you, it is so STINKING INSPIRING. In fact, a family—husband, wife, three kids—called in just today, to scream “WE. ARE. DEBT. FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!” and I cried. Yes, I did. I CRIED. Tears and everything.
The thing that totally sold me on DR was the last chapter of his book
I am so done with being a slave.
I got the following email in response to my post, Looking For a Way Out:
Hi I found your blog be accident and read about how you wanting to convert your friend Jane to Christianity and ’save’ her. I was really appalled that you didn’t respect her religion or lack their off and believe that because she has a different religion, she wont go to haven. Jesus accepted different religions (Jews or not) and taught that whets important is weather your a good person or not. Do you really think that God would exclude good people, who are full of grace. If you do, then i find that very sad, and I will pray for you. Do you really want to be in a Heaven where everyone is the same?
I thought the person who wrote me the email brought up some good issues—issues a lot of people wrestle with. So, I thought I’d post my response…
Dear [name withheld],
Thanks for your email regarding my recent post on With Purpose. I appreciate your honesty and openness.
In response, I first feel obligated to clarify that I cannot “save” anyone—that’s totally God’s thing. But God can choose to use me in the process. As an analogy, if there is to be a violin concert, what good would it be to go to the concert hall and simply watch a violin sitting on the stage by itself? The violin cannot produce music on its own just like I can’t “save” my friend on my own. However, if a great violin master picks up the violin and plays it, he can communicate his music through the violin. In other words, just as the great musician can use the violin to communicate beautiful music, God may choose to use me to communicate His love for my friend. I just want to be available to be used.
Secondly, I absolutely DO respect the religion my friend chooses to follow. But I still believe it’s wrong. Does that make me an ogre? I don’t think so. We all have differing beliefs about all sorts of things all the time. Just because we don’t believe the same thing doesn’t mean we necessarily are acting disrespectfully toward each other. I offer another (admittedly simple) analogy to explain my point…
I know a fellow parent who, when their child gets hurt, offers a sweet treat to eat. The treat is meant to comfort the child and get them to stop crying. I respect this person a lot and I respect the fact that they can parent any way they choose. But personally, I think using food as a form of comfort is wrong. It’s not sin, of course, but I do believe it doesn’t benefit their child in the long run. (How many times have we heard an adult talk about how they were always given food for comfort as a child and now they cannot break the cycle and are suffering either emotional [like not knowing how to deal effectively with their pain] or physical [like obesity] consequences as a result?) I can communicate WHY I think using food to comfort their child is wrong without being disrespectful. Do I hope they listen to my arguments and stop using food for comfort? Sure. Why? Because I think it’ll benefit the child in the long run. But if they choose to continue using food for comfort, that’s their choice as the parent. I certainly wouldn’t stop being their friend if they don’t do things the way I believe is right.
In the same way, I believe my friend’s religion is wrong (and I know there are plenty of people who believe my religion is wrong). I can respectfully express why I think so and I can hope she changes her mind. Why would I do that? Because I think she will benefit in the long run. But if she chooses not to believe what I believe, will I stop being her friend? Absolutely not. Will I relentlessly badger her forever? No. Will I pray that she changes her mind. Sure.
I’m not exactly sure what you meant when you said, “Jesus accepted different religions (Jews or not)…”
When he was on earth, Jesus made it quite clear He was the Messiah the Jews had been waiting for. He was not so concerned about religious backgrounds as much as He was that individuals recognize and follow Him.
You are absolutely right when you say that Jesus emphasized the importance of being a good person. However, this was not his primary message. His primary message was that He is the Messiah, God’s only Son, sent to die for our sins so that “whoever believes in Him will not die but will live eternally” (John 3:16, emphasis mine). Our good deeds simply flow out of our love for Him; they don’t determine whether or not He loves us nor if He will let us into heaven.
The bottom line is, NONE of us are really “good” by ourselves—not you, not me, not anyone. Sure, we all do good things, but we also all do bad things. So how do we know what’s good enough to get us into heaven? And how do we know what’s bad enough to keep us out? Where’s the line?
Romans 3:10 (and following) says,
“…’No one is good—not even one…’”
And verse 12,
“‘All have turned away from God; all have gone wrong. No one does good, not even one…’”
And verse 20,
“For no one can ever be made right in God’s sight by doing what his law commands…”
And verses 21 to 23,
“But now God has shown us a different way of being right in his sight—not by obeying the law but by the way promised in the Scriptures long ago. We are made right in God’s sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done. For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard…” (New Living Translation, emphasis mine)
Seems pretty clear to me that being “good” isn’t what ensures an eternal reward. If that were the case, we’d all be doomed from the get-go according to the verses above. Thank God He’s made a way for us that’s not dependent on how we behave or on some ambiguous scale weighing our good deeds against our bad.
To your last question, “Do you really want to be in a Heaven where everyone is the same?” I say yes and no. Everyone in heaven will have one thing in common. That is, we will all be there because we recognized God’s grace when He saved us through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. Other than that, there will be all kinds of people from different “tribes, nations and tongues.” In my mind, it’s the perfect scenario–we’ll all be totally equal in God’s (and each other’s) eyes and at the same time, we’ll be genuinely able to celebrate and enjoy our differences.
If heaven were a place where everyone got in based on what and how many good deeds they performed on earth, wouldn’t we be constantly comparing ourselves to each other? We’d either be one of the “best do-gooders” who entered heaven with flying colors, one of the “worst do-gooders” who entered heaven by the skin of our teeth or some “medium do-gooder” falling somewhere in between. And who decides what category we fall in? God? Well then, does He give preferential treatment to the “best do-gooders”? And what if I’m a “worst do-gooder” and I don’t agree with His judgment? Do I just have to suck it up and live with less-than equal treatment for all of eternity? Will I really be happy then? Doesn’t sound like heaven to me. In fact, unless I’m missing something, it just sounds like a repeat of life here on earth.
So I’ve been MIA. I’ve decided this is just the way life will be as a pastor’s wife. Sometimes there are things at church that occupy virtually all my time. Such has been the case the last 2 weeks. I think hope we’re coming out of it…but we never know.
In the meantime, I’ve gotten some great comments and emails from all of you. I’m sorry I have not been able to address each one. I have the great idea that I will respond to each comment and email I receive not only because it’s good blog etiquette (so they tell me) but mainly because I am very honored that many of you take the time to respond to me and my whatnot.
There have been a lot of changes around here lately. It’s been over 3 years since I’ve been in this state of pregnancy and I have no idea how I forgot how it is, but now I find myself thinking, “Oh yeah, I remember the backaches.” and “Oh yeah, I remember not being able to sleep at night.” and “Oh yeah, I should probably enjoy the calm before the storm of the newborn stage.”
I’m not complaining, since I know it all comes with the territory and it just makes the arrival of a new baby that much more special and rewarding, but I’m constantly amused at how different it is the third time around—I think it’s safe to say the novelty of pregnancy has worn off. I wonder what it would be like with a fourth, fifth, etc…not that I’m necessarily planning on being in that position anytime soon.