What’s Crap? Part 2.

December 9, 2005

This is the continuation of this post. (By the way, I forgot to mention something with regards to confession and that is, confessing your sin to the person you sinned against is also a very good thing when possible. Small detail.)

OK, moving on…

Action Step #2: Forgive those who have sinned against you.

I already hear it, “WHAT? Amy, I suspected you were an idiot and now you just confirmed it. That person doesn’t deserve forgiveness. They deserve to rot in hell for what they did to me.” Well, perhaps they do. I’ve spent a fair amount of time myself fantasizing about how a few people should be tortured, maimed and made to die a slow and agonizing death.

But here’s a little secret about forgiveness that turns the whole darn thing upside down: When we forgive someone else, it’s not solely for the benefit of the other person—it’s very much for our own benefit. Why? Well first of all, when we are unforgiving, bitterness and resentment are inevitably part of the equation and believe me, there ain’t nothin’ good about harboring bitterness and resentment—it’s another form of a slow and agonizing death…our own slow and agonizing spiritual death.

Second, it separates us from God. I don’t know about you, but if I ain’t got God, I ain’t got nothin’…because, as you can plainly see, I’m a big, fat LOSER on my own.

Third and very significantly, being unwilling to forgive someone is like…well, remember when I mentioned that you are on a journey and you’re carrying a boatload of crap behind you? Well, when you don’t forgive someone who has sinned against you, it’s as if you willingly handcuff yourself to that person. Now, not only do you have your own boatload of crap to lug behind you, you’ve also got to (#1) be tied to the person you don’t really like in the first place and (#2) YOU’RE ALSO DRAGGING AROUND THEIR CRAP IN ADDITION TO YOUR OWN…and let me tell you, if they sinned horribly against you, chances are they don’t just have a boatload of crap they’re lugging around, they’re dragging the MOTHER LOAD OF CRAP behind them. Need I say more? CUT. THEM. LOOSE!

Now. Before you go off calling Stone Phillips or Barbara Walters trying to get me on one of those shows with a headline like “PASTOR’S WIFE APPEARS TO BE ON DRUGS, PROMOTING ‘USE ME & ABUSE ME’ SPIRITUALITY,” let me say this…

Forgiving someone does not mean you forget what they did nor does it mean you condone their actions nor does it mean you let them walk all over you again. What it does mean is that you will, from this moment forward, not obsess about them or what they did (Work through the pain? Yes. Obsess? No.) and not wish horrible, evil things to happen to them (let God do that—He’s far more creative than you anyway). Let them off the hook—I know, not a particularly fun thought, especially for us humans who really like vengeance and getting even and stuff. But we’ve gotta see the big picture here. First, God just let you off the hook when you took Action Step #1, my friend. Second, we are EXTRAORDINARILY better off when we do whatever we can to be in good standing with God (even if getting your head chopped off by a guillotine seems more pleasant). And God wants us to confess our sin and He wants us to forgive others. (Check out James 5:16, Matthew 6:14, Luke 11:4 and about 5.2 million other verses that say similar things.)

So, there you have it…a few ways to “deal with your crap.” It’ll take a while and, like I said, it won’t be fun, but you didn’t pick up your boatload of crap in a day and you won’t unload it in a day either. But think of how sweet life will be.

(By the way, if you still feel like calling one of those shows, my preference is 60 Minutes. I really like 60 Minutes and I’ve often thought that if I ever had to be on a show due to my perceived lunacy, I’d really like it to be 60 Minutes.)

Category: Life

Comments

4 Responses to “What’s Crap? Part 2.”

  1. cmhl
    December 12th, 2005 @ 12:11 pm

    I love this post series, and I so totally agree with you— deal with “your” crap..

    I think that every person contemplating marraige should be required to deal with said crap, and sign a waiver stating that all past crap should be considered water under the bridge.

    nice thought, anyway!

  2. Tracey
    December 13th, 2005 @ 5:52 pm

    Amy, thanks for the great posts! I have been sending a few on to a friend whose sister needs to hear things said the way you say them. I think a part of that ‘dealing with your crap’ also involves a small pre-step (for some, not all) of actually taking responsibility for their own crap…but I think you implied that anyway. Good job!

  3. Jessica
    December 16th, 2005 @ 2:16 am

    Amy,
    thank you. My husband and I were just taken advantage of by a young woman who we took into our home, cared for, loved like she was our own, and provided for. She, in turn, told us horribly mean things & suddenly moved out. Things that broke my heart. I am dealing with these feelings, seriously battling this weed of resentment & bitterness.
    Thank you for posting this.
    Please pray for me to give this over to GOd, as I so don’t want it anymore…but my flesh does.
    Thank you!

  4. Angi
    December 16th, 2005 @ 2:42 am

    I just have to tell you I love your moniker, I’m a pastor’s wife myself, and was beginning to think I was the only PW with issues! lol.

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