My Issue #958
October 20, 2005
There ain’t nothin’ like school picture day to bring out the raging hypocrite in me.
Generally, I try to give my daughter a fair amount of leeway when it comes to her personal fashion. Wouldn’t want to squelch her creativity or sense of self-expression, you know. I know. I know. You don’t need to say it. What an amazing mother I am, right? Yes, I laugh at conformity! I am unwavering in the face of cultural pressure to dress my child in that $500 outfit I saw at Gymboree the other day! I do not care what other people think of me when my child is decked out in 5 different clashing prints! No! I don’t care! Let them think what they may!
OK, so here’s me this morning:
“I know you want to wear your hair in a ponytail, but I’m choosing and you’re wearing your hair down!”
“I know you want to wear that pink dress but that turtleneck doesn’t go with it so we’re going to choose something else.”
“Eat your lunch over your plate so you don’t spill on your shirt!”
And the kicker, “When it’s time for you to take your picture, smile like this.”
You know, I’m so glad I can kick into Nazi-mom mode when the need arises because sometimes it is simply a matter of life and death—like today. I mean, after all, today WAS the day she took her kindergarten school picture and we all know how important that kindergarten school picture is. Why, without a decent picture from kindergarten, who will ever hire her when she’s ready for a job? And who will ever want to marry her if at age five her hair was in a ponytail? And would it even be possible that she could ever lead a normal, happy life if her smile was a little crooked? Extensive and suffocating care is essential when preparing for that all-important kindergarten picture, you know. God forbid she look like HERSELF or anything.
Geez. How pathetic. I am sick, people. SICK!
Related posts:
- Yet another issue
- Glasses & Gas
- A people-pleasing parent. Not a good combination.
- The Latest
- My TIME experience
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Hi, I'm Amy. I teach people how to blog, I collect, organize & share free homeschooling resources, I am was the pastor's wife, I'm co-raising 4 kiddos, and I have issues. Read more about me here or find out how to contact me here.
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October 21st, 2005 @ 11:30 am
My 4 yo daughter is often mistaken for a dear darling flappy eyelash cherub…and then they get to know her. She’s got a tiger in her pink and purple flowered tank. I often have to talk her INTO brushing her hair after she’s put 7 mismatched bows every which way in her hair. My 8 year old cut a chunk(!) out of the side of his hair the other day when it wouldn’t lay down with the comb and water. I get the pitiful “Why doesn’t that mother groom those poor children” looks at Wal-mart.
I don’t mind at all to read the painful truth that for one day your daughter looked the way you hoped out of the rest of the 364 of the year.
October 25th, 2005 @ 7:45 pm
you probably should have said “No matter WHAT, you MUST have your hair in a ponytail!! PLEASE wear the ponytail!! and PLEASE don’t smile!!!!”
that probably would have worked. hahah.
I lucked out this year, our school pictures turned out remarkably cute. Through no fault of my own, mind you. hahahah.
Hope you are feeling better!
October 25th, 2005 @ 7:59 pm
I was just reading your post below, re: dealing with your crap and not marrying a loser. Right on, sister! Women have to be direct with each other on this subject, and it’s important to talk in a language everyone understands. Brilliant! (And I say crap a lot. Because I don’t say other words.)
October 26th, 2005 @ 4:54 pm
Ugh… I’m going through this tomorrow.