You Know You’re a Pastor’s Wife When…

August 1, 2005

Just my own personal list…

  1. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you are rarely referred to by your given name. You are most often “The Pastor’s Wife” or a variation on that theme (”Pastor ______’s Wife,” “Married to the Pastor,” etc.). You may even be called “The First Lady” (which I find personally unnerving—I don’t know why). In our church, there’s a guy from Brooklyn, NY who calls me “The Underboss.” Now THAT I can handle.
  2. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…people act weird around you. I was once in a conversation with a group of adults when one woman said, “Yeah, I haven’t been to church in a while.” As soon as she said it, she looked at me with an “I’ve been caught” look and then she said, “Oops…busted.” For the record, I don’t take attendance. I am not a babysitter. And my general feeling is that adults can and should make their own decision about if and when they attend church. Heck, it takes all my energy to make sure I make it to church let alone the rest of the population.
  3. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you relate best to anyone NOT in your church. This is largely due to #2, however it’s also because you don’t know how to deal with the I - have - no - idea - how - much - to - share - with - you - about - my - personal - life - because - it - will - most - likely - involve - issues - about - my - husband - leaving - his - underwear - around - (or something similar) - and - my - husband - is - your - pastor - and - you - probably - don’t - want - to - hear - about - his - underwear.
  4. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you wish you had a dime for every time someone claims your husband said something that he never said. If you did, you would be a very, very rich woman. And if you had another dime for every time what he supposedly said was ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS and UTTERLY STUPID, you’d double your money.
  5. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…”rich” (monetarily speaking) is not in your vocabulary. Never has been. Never will.
  6. You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you’re either extremely uncomfortable or extremely gleeful (depending on your personality) when you’re in a conversation with someone who uses lots of four-letter words and then asks you the question, “So, what does your husband do?”

Got any more I should add to the list PW’s?

Category: Pastors' Wives

Comments

30 Responses to “You Know You’re a Pastor’s Wife When…”

  1. just me
    August 2nd, 2005 @ 5:13 pm

    O how I wish I was witty enough to add to your list. I laughed out loud … truly. I’ll have to think about this for awhile. If I come up with anything I’ll let you know.

  2. Joanna
    August 6th, 2005 @ 9:58 pm

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when you walk into a room of ladies and everyone stops talking. Hmmm, I wonder who they were talking about??

  3. julie
    August 17th, 2005 @ 4:54 pm

    you know you’re a pastor’s wife when everyone makes you bless the food wherever you go!

  4. Linda
    September 19th, 2005 @ 11:02 am

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when your house is in the church parking lot.

  5. Dena
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:22 pm

    What a great piece! As a Pastor’s Wife, I completely identified with you…and then I laughed out loud. I can’t wait to peruse your blog.

  6. Virginia
    January 23rd, 2006 @ 2:14 pm

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when someone asks if you can play the piano or sing a solo. You also know you’re a pastor’s wife when people want to check out what you are drinking at any social occasion!

  7. Zoe
    February 28th, 2006 @ 3:30 am

    Thank you for making me smile and laugh out loud!

  8. LadyJ
    February 28th, 2006 @ 3:01 pm

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when every pot luck you go home with a truck load full of unwanted left-overs!

  9. kelli
    February 28th, 2006 @ 3:07 pm

    that is so very funny and and so very true:)

  10. Amy
    March 8th, 2006 @ 2:34 pm

    I’m lovin’ your additions….

  11. Anita
    March 28th, 2006 @ 2:02 pm

    You know you are a pastor’s wife when you dog has “shy bladder” while the church members are moving about the parking lot. Poor puppy…

  12. Anita
    March 28th, 2006 @ 2:03 pm

    Oh and when someone calls your “home” (aka: the parsonage) at midnight to ask for prayer for their sinus headache!

  13. Anita
    March 28th, 2006 @ 2:06 pm

    …or even better when someone calls (late night of course) to request an “Exorcism” (I wish I was kidding)…not to mention my hubby is a METHODIST minister!

  14. Anita
    March 28th, 2006 @ 2:06 pm

    I could go on, and on, and on…

  15. hanna
    April 15th, 2006 @ 12:19 am

    you know your the pastor’s wife when people don’t let you pick up the tab because “pastor’s have no money”.

  16. Louise
    April 18th, 2006 @ 6:31 pm

    Or when people expect your husband to pick up the tab because after all they have been working as volunteers for the church and your husband should be thankful and pay for their lunch.

  17. Denise
    May 16th, 2006 @ 2:09 pm

    You know you’re the PW when you suddenly find your husband is out of a job, your kids out of a school and your family without friends or a place to live.

  18. Rose
    May 19th, 2006 @ 1:10 pm

    You know your the wife of the music minister when people will ask..

    Member: So, what instrument do you play?”
    PW: I don’t play anything.
    Member: Well how long have you been singing?
    PW: I don’t sing! *with a big, gleeful smile*
    Member: YOU DON’T EVEN SING?????? *secretly thinking: what kind of woman are you??*

  19. Rose
    May 19th, 2006 @ 1:13 pm

    You know when you’re a minister’s wife when people say, “I know you’re married to ——- but what is your name again?”

  20. TERI
    May 24th, 2006 @ 11:32 am

    YOU KNOW YOU’RE A PASTORS WIFE WHEN THEY START CALLING YOU THE “FIRST LADY”….WHO DO THEY THINK I AM?!! LAURA BUSH?!

  21. demetris johnson
    May 25th, 2006 @ 10:58 am

    i’m not a pw, but i prayed that all pw, will receive an abundance amount of grace to walk in their calling…the “PASTOR’S WIFE”…many many many blessings to all PW…with sincere LOVE….

  22. Camille Howard
    May 30th, 2006 @ 5:48 pm

    You know you are the Pastor’s wife when the Pastor makes reference to your personal lives when he preaches….you know you are the pastor’s wife when your husband is asking you to do paperwork when he has a secretary…..you are the pastor’s wife when everything involving the women you have to be in charge of and coordinate….you know you are the pastor’s wife when you have held at least seven position in the church at one time!!!

  23. Marion
    June 11th, 2006 @ 4:25 am

    You know you are the pastor’s wife when you find yourself crawling on the floor so people sitting in church can’t see you at home on a Sunday morning because you’re sick and the church windows look into your living area.

  24. Amy
    June 12th, 2006 @ 10:07 am

    Marion, that is HILARIOUS. That would totally be me.

  25. Jeano
    July 31st, 2006 @ 5:30 pm

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when you are expected to meet up to each persons’ list of expectations… perfectly… all the time.

  26. Jill
    March 30th, 2007 @ 12:15 am

    ….when a “nosy” church member calls you three times in about 3 weeks wanting to know why you and your daughter have not been in church. And–she knows full well why; all due to illness; mainly daughter has been ill with bronchitis and a bad flu virus but, instead of offering anything, she goes digging for more “gossip material.”

  27. Martha
    November 14th, 2008 @ 10:38 am

    You know you’re a pastor’s wife when you never know even public gossip (like “so-&-so had her baby” or “the ___ family is moving”) because people never tell you anything because they either assume 1) you already know (ha!) or 2) it’s none of your business (probably true in many cases).

  28. karla
    November 14th, 2008 @ 9:19 pm

    you know you are the pastor’s wife when EVERYONE asks you for information about things going on in the church…and of course, you never know, because you are the last person your husband has time to talk to.

  29. Carmen
    December 10th, 2008 @ 4:15 am

    You know you are a pastor’s wife when you often feel lonely and trapped.

  30. Indy
    January 2nd, 2009 @ 9:08 am

    Great post…love Hanna’s response

    You know you’re the pastor’s wife when women look up to you and think you are perfect.

    Indy’s last blog post..Resolution Solution

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