Clueless

July 28, 2005

Jeremiah. He’s an interesting fellow. I love the way he opens his book:

The Lord gave me a message. He said, “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world.”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”

“Don’t say that,” the Lord replied, “for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”

Then the Lord touched my mouth and said, “See, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. You are to uproot some and tear them down, to destroy and overthrow them. You are to build others up and plant them.” Jeremiah 1:4-10

OK, if I was Jeremiah, I’d be peeing in my pants. Spokesman to the world? Stand up against nations and kingdoms? Right.

Not that I’m on the same level as Jeremiah (I have no plans to destroy nations or anything), but I can SO relate. This is exactly how I feel about being a pastor’s wife. I feel grossly inadequate and entirely too young. Besides, isn’t this whole thing Brian’s gig?

I have NO CLUE how to be a pastor’s wife. In fact, how DOES one be a pastor’s wife? It is such a weird existence.

But, Brian and I are married; therefore, we stick together. Brian is clearly supposed to be the pastor of this church; therefore, I’m clearly supposed to be the pastor’s wife—trippy as it is.

I take comfort in knowing God knew me before I was even a twinkle in my father’s eye. There is not one thing in my life He has not considered. Not only did He know I would eventually be a pastor’s wife, He actually prepared me to be one, despite how unprepared I feel.

I might not have a clue how to be a pastor’s wife, but there’s a reason God chose me. Something my dad always says comes to mind in moments like these: “Just be yourself, Aim. Just be yourself.”

At this point, that’s my plan of attack—just being myself—because I am totally wingin’ it.

Category: Deep Thoughts, Pastors' Wives

Comments

2 Responses to “Clueless”

  1. just me
    July 29th, 2005 @ 11:45 am

    I completely concur with your thoughts in this entry. Well spoken indeed. Thanks.

  2. Maiju
    July 31st, 2005 @ 10:31 am

    When I was young I never understood the fear of God at all. I’m not that old even now but I’ve learned to know the God’s power. Many times I find myself in a situation that I’m afraid of praying God to take control of my life because that would mean He can do whatever with it. It could mean moving to another country or whatever and I’m so afraid of that because I feel that I’m just an ordinary woman with nothing special to give to anyone. Well, I guess God equips us to the things He leeds us so I still try to find the courage to pray that Jesus would take my life totally. Anyway I think that’s the best way to live one’s life!

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