A First for Me

May 10, 2005

Something happened to me today that has never happened before. I was at Walmart, waiting in line–THAT certainly wasn’t a first. Is it just me or are there NEVER enough lanes open at Walmart? Anyway…

So I’m waiting in line to check out and there they were, gracing the cover of at least two magazines, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. They were smilin’ and huggin’ and kissin’ and stuff. They just looked so happy. And me? I was overwhelmed by the urge to cry. In fact, there was a moment there I thought I would be unable to control myself. Bizarre.

So me being me, I immediately kick in to introspection mode, self-reflection, talking to my innner self–whatever you want to call it, it basically consists of one question: What is my problem anyway?

My heart rate is increasing, I’m about to burst into tears, I’m tempted to stand up on the nearest conveyor belt and scream I-have-no-idea-what at the top of my lungs and I’m thinking: I am freaking out about a stupid magazine featuring people I could care less about. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM ANYWAY?

Suddenly I get it. For some reason, I saw in that one picture all the stuff in the background that gets so overlooked. In Hollywood, people change their significant others like they change their underwear. And marriage, well, it’s faddish. An entire industry is funded in large part by who just got married, who just got divorced and who just got married again. AND WE CELEBRATE IT! Because after all (they tell us), isn’t life just about finding true love and being happy? Oh really.

It wasn’t long ago everyone in the world thought Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were absolutely in love, forever and ever, amen. And then they split and the world is devastated. But then the world breathes a sigh of relief, because Brad has now really found what he was looking for in Angelina Jolie. Isn’t that sweet? Yes, how romantic. Now we love them and what a great couple, don’t you think? And have you heard? They want to start a family…

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

How can “true love” change in a matter of months unless it’s based entirely on me and what I feel like today? And what have we become if we view the ripping apart of two inextricably woven lives through divorce as merely a hiccup in the radar screen of life?

“Well,” they say, “because people should be allowed to do whatever they want without being judged as long as they’re not hurting other people.”

And I say, WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? Are you telling me the kids (for those that have them) aren’t hurt as they watch their parents divorce and then they’re forced to live their lives split between the two and then possibly split yet again if mom or dad’s new relationship doesn’t work? I won’t even throw Scripture into the mix for this one…a little common sense should suffice.

But you know, maybe I just have a unique perspective. Maybe I’m just reacting to the frantic phone calls we get at our house from people in the middle of disintegrating relationships, with no clue what to do next.

Maybe it’s about the kids I encounter frequently who are nearing school age but can’t speak more than a three-word sentence because their parents are too busy figuring out how to deal with each other, let alone making sure their kids have what they need.

Maybe I’m reacting to the relationships I have with teens who end up running away because they can’t stand it at home. And who knows what they’re doing to support themselves.

Here’s my analysis: These kids are living in survival mode; thriving is an entirely foreign concept. They’re hurting, but no one takes notice. They are completely on their own because their parents are in survival mode themselves. And Hollywood somehow makes it all seem OK, even normal.

But it’s not normal. And it’s not good. For me, the picture on the cover of that magazine represented shattered lives. No wonder I wanted to cry.

Category: Life, Love

Comments

One Response to “A First for Me”

  1. Carol Evans (Mrs. Jack)
    July 17th, 2005 @ 5:30 pm

    Oh Amy - I so agree WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? No one seems to care. As I saw news clips of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch because he was so excited and “in love”, the only thing I could think of is what must his children be feeling!
    Love,
    Carol Evans

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