embarassing moments

August 24, 2004

Ever feel like you need a little comic relief? I’ve been feeling that way lately. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I don’t need to look any further than myself–not because I bubble with hilarity, I just happen to have an extensive repertoire of embarrassing moments. I have no shortage of things that make me laugh.

My favorite (for lack of a better word) embarrassing moment occurred about five years ago. I was a temporary employee working as an administrative assistant at a very family-friendly company. I say “family-friendly” because before I got the job, I was coached extensively on this fact by the person that recruited me for the position. Basically, I was reminded over and over again that conducting myself accordingly was of utmost importance.

On the day in question, I was quite new, hoping to make a good impression and in general, trying to go above and beyond the call of duty so as not to get the boot, as many temps do.

I walked into the cubical of a Senior Sales Manager as was typical during the course of my day. I noticed his suit coat tossed carelessly over a chair in the corner of his cube. “Aha!” I thought, “an opportunity to prove myself as a considerate, conscientious, can’t-live-without-me, truly professional administrative assistant.” So I casually pointed to the coat and said, “Mark, you need a….a….”

It was at this very moment that the clarity with which I had previously assessed the situation, suddenly escaped me. I knew in my head that I wanted to offer to locate either a hook or a hanger on which to store his coat, but the simple sentence so nicely put together in my brain somehow did not roll so smoothly off my lips.

In my desperate attempt to appear calm, cool and collected as I stuttered and sputtered, the words “hook” and “hanger” got horribly mixed up in my brain and I finally (and loudly) blurted, “Mark, you need a hooker!”

As I stood in complete horror at what I had just said and how positively un-family-friendly it was as well as how totally unbecoming of a pastor’s wife (as they all knew me to be), I was (somewhat) relieved when he graciously and quickly responded, “Oh, don’t we all!”

Epilogue: I’m happy to report all that was lost was my dignity and pride.

Category: Life

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