Moving on…

November 4, 2010

Well friends, I think the time has come to end my writing here once and for all. I feel particularly attached to this blog since it is where everything started for me (with regards to my online life).

I started writing here when I was struggling as a pastor’s wife and met so many who offered copious amounts of encouragement. Thank you. In many ways, you have been a lifeline.

I’ve been out of the role of “pastor’s wife” for 3 years this month (wow!). Much has changed, and try as I may, I’ve found it difficult to know how to take this blog along with me into what is clearly a new season of life.

I’m not disappearing though! The archives will remain here for the time being, but I’m making a new home base over at AmyLynnAndrews.com. You can join me over there and see what I’m up to if you’d like. I’d love that.

For those of you who have stuck with me through my VERY fickle and sporadic writing over the years, you are GREAT! Thank you for your encouragement, your support and some really great discussion.

Comments: 2 Comments
Category: About

The Edge of the Divine: A Review

August 3, 2010

The Edge of the DivineRecently, I was asked if I would review Sandi Patty’s new book, The Edge of the Divine. I don’t often do reviews, but I decided to check out Sandi Patty’s website and saw that her upcoming CD has a hymn that I love. I love a good hymn. Have I said that? It’s true. Gets me in touch with my roots or something.

Anyway, so I agreed to the review and they sent me the book. And I read it.

At one time, I was a huge fan of Sandi Patty. Her voice is outstanding and every time I hear her sing, I generally have tears or goose bumps, usually both. Then life happened (for me and her) and I moved on to other things.

The Background

If you don’t know her story, back in the 90′s, she was at the height of her Christian music singing career when she had an adulterous relationship with one of her backup singers, divorced her husband with whom she had 4 kids and married the other guy (who also had several children from a previous marriage).

I’m not sharing that as gossip — she has been very open and repentant about it — but I share it as background to my review.

The other background is that The Edge of the Divine is about her struggle with weight, her decision to have bariatric surgery and her spiritual journey in the midst of it.

I have not had an adulterous affair nor have I struggled with my weight. So, as I’m sure you can imagine (or maybe as you might be able to relate), I started the book with my pride fully and fantastically intact and I was poised for a hearty finger-pointing.

Much to my shame.

Lesson #1: “But by the grace of God go I.”

OK, so I haven’t had an adulterous affair, but let me tell you, if not for God’s grace, that could have so easily been part of my story too. (Again, another post.)

And I’m sure I’ve done things Sandi Patty hasn’t done that have brought just as much grief and sorrow to our Father. Given her career, her sin happens to be exposed to the world while I can keep mine hidden. And let’s be real, hidden sin is sometimes the most deadly.

Lesson #2: I struggle with food too.

I don’t have a weight problem, it’s true, but I have and do struggle with gluttony.

What’s gluttony? Habitually eating to excess. One of my very first posts on this blog was about this very thing, in fact. How interesting is that?

But you know, I’m a master at hiding my gluttony too. After all, no one has to know when my 6’2″ frame stretches any weight vertically before it stretches it horizontally.

God speaks through lives. Do we listen?

I believe we all have something to learn from someone else’s story. In fact, there’s danger in looking at another and being glad we don’t sin like they do. But chances are, if we are even thinking that, we are probably more guilty in the first place.

It won’t rank as one of my favorites of all time, but by the end of the book, I appreciated Sandi’s story. I certainly learned a lot about bariatric surgery and appreciated getting a peek into the everyday life of someone I admired greatly. Most importantly, I was grateful to hear the whispers of my Savior as I stand on my own Edge of the Divine.

Comments: 1 Comment
Category: My Issues, My Life

Trading

July 9, 2010

I’m just finishing Beth Moore’s Esther study and it has come at a great time. I’ve always enjoyed Esther, but I’ve gained new insights this time around for which I am so thankful.

In yesterday’s assignment, she pointed out how God flip-flopped the circumstances for the Jews in Persia completely. Haman wrote an edict intended to destroy the Jews, but Moredecai & Esther’s edict intended just the opposite.

The Jews responded to Haman’s edict with mourning, fasting, weeping, and wailing (Esther 4:3), but the Jews responded with happiness, joy, gladness and honor to Mordecai & Esther’s edict (Esther 8:16).

I love how she (Beth) then encouraged me to think of 4 negatives in my life that I would like God to reverse. I easily came up with 4:

  1. The tendency for me to see the negative in someone before I see the good (especially in my family and myself). My deceptive thought is that if I point out the bad, it can be changed for good. Right?!?!
  2. Related, the heavy atmosphere my negativity causes in our home.
  3. Excessive guilt.
  4. Perfectionism.

And what 4 positives would I like God to replace them with?

  1. A lighthearted, affirming spirit in me.
  2. A home where encouragement and patience reigns.
  3. Freedom.
  4. Grace.

I loved what she said:

Are any of [your positives] unbiblical? I’m imagining not. Unless you’re asking something ungodly and vindictive, I want to challenge you to turn those descriptions into petitions.

It’s simple and common sense, I guess, but this never occurred to me — to ask for the reverse. What I desire is definitely godly and right. I just never thought to ask.

But I’m asking now.

What are the things you hope God will reverse for you?

Comments: 3 Comments
Category: My Deep Thoughts, My Issues, My Life

Need sleep advice. Not for babies. For me.

July 3, 2010

So uh, here’s the deal.

Sleep escapes me. I think 10 years of waking up in the night with small children has done me in.

Often, I wake up at 1 or 2 and can’t go back to sleep. Frustrating.

I don’t like medication (not for any reason other than…well, there really is no reason), but there must be some sort of natural thing I can take. Right? One of you must have an idea. Help!?

In other news, I don’t think it’s possible that I could make this site any more plain. Would you agree?

Comments: 19 Comments
Category: My Life, My Randomness

It’s what paralyzes me

July 2, 2010

I saw this quote the other day:

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. ~Harriet Braiker

Then I found this one,

In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism. ~Hannah Arendt

and this one,

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again. ~Julia Cameron

and,

Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. ~Anne Lamott

This is me. I am paralyzed by perfectionism…and it does feel oppressive. It seriously hangs like a dark cloud in my life. (And as an example, I just spent way too long looking for a “dark cloud” image, but of course, couldn’t find the perfect one.)

My brain is FULL of things I’m going to do — great ideas and exciting dreams. The problem is that they stay in my brain. They also stay in my journal(s) where I start them and then scrap them because I criticize myself right out of them (“Oh, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. It’s a dumb idea.”).

I hate it. I’m on a quest for freedom.

Got any advice for me?

Comments: 20 Comments
Category: Dumb Things, My Issues, My Life
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